SOURCE : The Daily Star (Monday, April 13, 2009 )AUTHOR:
Dating…the sweet old time spent in getting to know each other, sharing thoughts and hoping that it leads to something more permanent. Yes all those Hollywood flicks were not lying: going on a date is a big deal. After all a date is the only official time when two people really get to hang out, talk and find out more about one another in person. Yes, late night phone calls are adventurous and e-cards at work are cute but it is actually when you spend time in each other's company that really tells you whether this rendezvous is worth the effort.
Thus it is only natural that you would want your dates to be perfect. A little candlelight, some chocolates and Celine in the background? Of course. But is it enough? Of course not. The perfect date is like a great painting or a scrumptious lobster bisque. It takes time, effort and above all, imagination. So grab a cushion and read on as we tell you the secrets to creating The Perfect Date.
The Perfect Place
“Love don't cost a thing”
The perfect place for a date doesn't necessarily mean an ultra-expensive candlelit French restaurant. Nor does it mean box tickets to the next India-Pakistan match. If it's a first date, you don't want the place to give off intense romantic vibes or be loud and noisy where you can't talk in comfort. So go for someplace neutral like a coffee shop and share a cuppa.
For future dates try to hone into what your date likes. If she's into theatre, a play would be perfect. If he likes indoor sports, bowling might just be the solution. The very first date makes or breaks the deal. So pay attention on the first date to what your partner is saying. That'll give you hints about what he or she likes. Then if you're on for a second date, suggest possible dating places that you think might please your date and make plans accordingly.
Always remember that money isn't the main factor. Having fun is. A date can be inexpensive yet fun all the same. And remember, inexpensive doesn't mean thrown-together-in-five-minutes. What you need in such cases is a little creativity. So don't obsess about the price tag.
The Perfect Outfit
“Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess.”
As superficial as it may sound, what you wear to your dates, especially your very first one, can be of considerable significance. Yes appearance does matter, well at least initially. It's okay to be a 30-year-old die-hard Elvis fan. But it isn't okay to turn up on a date with Elvis's hair or pants.
Clothes tell people about your individual style, how fashionable you are and even provide people with a window into your personality. But if you're confused about what to wear, consult with a friend, a fashion magazine or simply opt for one of the two safety nets: one, wear business casuals (after all work does require a certain amount of decorum); or two, that one outfit everyone says you look great in. And while you're at it, don't forget to take the location into account. After all you don't want to dine in dungarees or trainers at a five-star hotel.
All in all remember what P.J. O'Rourke said: Never wear anything that panics the cat.
The Perfect Gift
“Give a little bit”
Flowers, chocolates, perfumes and cufflinks? Seems to be about right doesn't it? Wrong! Not every girl eats chocolates and not every guy wears cufflinks.
So how does one figure out what to give his/her date? Simple. Listen. Both sexes have a tendency of talking about things they like without even realising that they have done it. And during the initial dates people talk about common interests to break the ice. That gives you a glimpse into the person's personality as well as preferences.
If she tells you about Candace Bushnell's latest novel, chances are she'll like The Devil Wears Prada. If he tells you how he fixed his bike all by himself, a subscription to Top Gear might just be what he will like.
The Perfect Mate
“Don't like me yet? Have another drink.”
Dates are the perfect way to find out about each other. And the best way to do that is by talking and more importantly listening. Give your date your full and undivided attention while she/he is speaking. Don't keep on acting like you know it all even if you really do know it all. And don't use what she/he is saying as a jump off point to highlight some great feat that you have accomplished. No one likes a know-it-all and self-promotion is no promotion at all. You don't have to prove how simply wonderful you are. Let your date make that decision. After all, humility too, is a virtue.
In the end, the perfect date is about making new discoveries, giving a part of yourself to someone and all in all hoping that it all leads to something more permanent. So take a deep breath, pop some mints and just be yourself. And don't forget, have fun!
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